To Whom it May Concern:

When one is dining in a restaurant, or anywhere for that matter, one does not want to see this. Thank you in advance.

Why I Remain Cool When Things Get Noisy...

Study finds sounds scare scrawny people more easily.

NOTE: This is my original artwork. Please do not reproduce without express written permission. I had better not see this masterpiece in your homes.

The Worst Best Friend

Let me tell you about the worst best friend. Who's that, you say? That would be me, unfortunately. How did I earn this distinction? To adequately explain, I will have to give you some background. You see, I am one of those people who is blessed/cursed with a nearly impeccable memory. I remember incidents that occurred long, long ago with remarkable recall. I can give details, dates, what current events coincided with said incident, who was wearing what, what so-and-so said, who dated who, and I was/am about 95% on point. Sometimes, I get on my own nerves with the things I remember.

My best friend, Mrs. Jovial, is quite the opposite. She looks to me to remember things, and I do. My memory bank is available to her and whoever else may need it. I don't believe my memory has ever let her down. That is, until now. You see, I have done something I have never done the entire length of our friendship.

I forgot my best friend's birthday.

**Sigh**

I remembered two days before. In fact, we were to meet for dinner the night before her birthday, but our plans got canceled. That day, she had a scheduling conflict, I had a crisis on top of being super busy and was occupied from sunrise to sunset. The next day, April 26, was her birthday. I was up early, checked the news and learned of Bea Arthur's death, wrote a post, and went on about my day, again working all the way through until it was time for me to have my tea and watch the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency. Later that night as I was speaking to a relative, I realized my transgression, but it was too late to call the Jovial home. Besides, who wants a birthday wish that late at night?

The next morning I apologized profusely. Mrs. Jovial was gracious, maybe because sometimes she's just sweet like that. More than likely, it's because she understands what it feels like to forget. I don't know which one it is, but I'm glad she was okay, because the Queen doesn't grovel too well for long. Queenie is however, well versed in the apology. I'll let you figure out why that is.

Without further ado, I am offering the following:

Cocktails

What's your preference, a Cosmo...

Or, a chocolatini?

A magnificent plate of seafood pasta. I'll cook it myself.

Either a lovely almond cake from the best bakery:

Or one I will make myself. Look at those peaks!

For your gift, choose a hot pair of Prada shoes,

Or Jimmy Choo?

Some Music:



Or how about I go way back:

'Member this?



I hope you enjoy this, and know we will celebrate in real life. Ummm, you do know the shoes are given in spirit only, right? Hey, it's the thought that counts.

Happy Birthday, much love, and may you have many, many more.

Beatrice Arthur: One of a Kind

I learned very early this morning that Beatrice Arthur died of cancer at 86. She was an award winning actress, singer and comedienne. Her dry wit, independent spirit and impeccable timing made her a personal favorite of mine. As most of you know, one of my favorite movies is Auntie Mame, starring Rosalind Russell. In the second movie version of the Mame Dennis Story starring Lucille Ball and simply titled Mame, Bea Arthur was cast as Vera Charles in the best friend role. I always felt Beatrice should have been cast in the original movie. It would have made an excellent move perfect, I am sure.

Many of you know Arthur as the wisecracking Dorothy Zbornak of the Golden Girls. While I loved Dorothy and the rest of the cast, she will forever be Maude to me. It was one of my favorite sitcoms as a young child (far too young to be tuning in to such a controversial show), and it had a killer theme song to boot (yes, I do know all the words). Maude Findlay was fabulous, strong willed, and funny. Beatrice Arthur made it so. Rest in peace.